Dance Demon
by Come Lady Death
Summary: Rodney's found a weird way to cope after the events of 'Trinity'... This is half a tag for 'Trinity', half a songfic for Lady Gaga's 'Telephone', and half crack. Oh well.


John Sheppard knocked on the doorframe of the lab and stuck his head inside. "Colonel Sheppard, hello," Radek Zelenka greeted, looking up from his tablet. Sheppard nodded in response, but his mind was quite obviously elsewhere.

"Hey, have you seen McKay?"

Zelenka's brow furrowed in thought. "No, not lately. Why?" John shrugged and propped himself against the doorjam.

"Well, I just thought I'd hang out with him a little," he said. "We've all been pretty hard on him about the whole Arcturus thing and he's been moping for days. Thought maybe some team downtime would cheer him up. But now I can't seem to find him."

"Is he answering his radio?"

"Um..." Sheppard flushed, feeling like a complete idiot. Why hadn't he thought of that? "Right. Radio. Thanks!" He bolted, but Radek followed him out.

"I will help you look," the Czech scientist volunteered. "I agree that Rodney needs cheering up. If you don't mind the company."

"Not at all," the soldier said with a smile. He keyed his radio and tried to reach Rodney. "Sheppard to McKay. Rodney, you there?"

There was a blank second, then McKay's voice filtered into his ear. "Hello, hello, baby, you called?"

Sheppard stopped short in the hall, causing Zelenka to slam into his back. Did Rodney just call him baby? "Uh, yeah, Rodney, where are you?"

"I can't hear a thing. I have got no signal in the club, you see."

"The club?" John was beginning to be disturbed by this exchange. Maybe Rodney was further gone after Arcturus than they'd thought. "Rodney, I'm not playing around, where are you?"

"What did you say? You're breaking up on me."

"I said-" Sheppard started again in exasperation, but McKay cut him off.

"Sorry, I cannot hear you, I'm kinda busy." The noise level went up drastically and John winced. Wherever Rodney was, he'd just walked back inside. That brought him up short with an idea. He glanced over at Zelenka.

"There's a party on, isn't there?" Radek thought about it, then nodded with a shrug.

"Sure. Miko Kusanagi is throwing another one of her scientists-only things. But Rodney never goes to the parties."

"Well, something makes me think he's gone to one now." The Czech stared at him and Sheppard made a face. "Loud noise, Rodney's talking loopy..."

"Okay, yes," Zelenka admitted. "I think, this way?" He pointed and the two of them took off. Sheppard kept Rodney on the radio, trying to figure out precisely where the party was taking place. He added Zelenka to the conversation so that the scientist could keep up without Sheppard translating.

"McKay, I need you to tell me where-"

Rodney interrupted again in an excited voice. "Just a second, it's my favorite song they're gonna play. And I cannot go dancing with a drink in my hand."

John rolled his eyes. That pretty much explained that, Rodney was drinking. "McKay, focus," the colonel snapped. "Zelenka and I are trying to get to you, but we don't know where the party is. Can you give us a hint, at least?"

Rodney gave a faintly girlish sniff of derision and completely ignored the question. "You should've made some plans with me, you knew that I was free. And now you won't stop calling me. I'm kinda busy."

Radek keyed in and asked politely, "Rodney, Colonel Sheppard and I wish to join you at the party, but we cannot find it. Can you give us directions, please?"

There was a shout of frustration. "Stop calling, stop calling, I don't want to think anymore! I left my head and my heart on the dance floor." Zelenka tried to speak, but McKay overrode his query. "Stop calling, stop calling, I don't want to talk anymore. I left my head and my heart on the dance floor."

The soldier and the scientist exchanged a look. Then they picked up the pace. They had to find Rodney before he did something completely idiotic and embarrassed or injured himself permanently. Over the radio, they could hear Rodney panting. John tried not to visualize the Canadian breakdancing, but it was kind of hard since it sounded like McKay was doing just that.

The searchers finally stopped and asked Katie Brown to guide them. Rodney's continued babbling in their ears was no little incentive to find him faster. "Stop radioing me, stop radioing me. Can call all you want, but there's no one home. You're not gonna reach my radio 'cause I'm out in the club and I'm sipping that bubb. You're not gonna reach my radio!"

Sheppard and Zelenka both radioed him multiple times to try and get him to shut up, but they had no luck. Their constant hails apparently got on Rodney's nerves and he finally snapped. "Boys, the way you're blowing up my radio won't make me leave no faster, put my coat on faster, leave these guys no faster. I should've have left this thing at home 'cause this is a disaster. Calling like a collector... Sorry, I cannot answer!"

Katie, new to the radio insanity, looked to John and Radek for an answer to McKay's behaviour. The two ignored both her and Rodney, who started giggling happily. The high-pitched sound sent shivers up Sheppard's back, because the Rodney McKay he knew did _not_ giggle.

"Do...either of you make noise like that?" Radek asked into the awkward silence after McKay stopped laughing. Katie shook her head emphatically, but Sheppard shrugged.

"Only when I'm drunk, which I suspect Rodney is. Very."

Rodney was silent for a long while and John started to get nervous. He'd wanted the man to shut up, but now that he was quiet, John didn't know what he was doing. They were getting warmer and now they could both hear the music and feel the pounding beat through the floor. Sheppard reached up to call and check that McKay was still in there. But just as he did so, his voice came over the channel once again. He sounded calmer. Maybe that was a good sign.

"'S not that I don't like you, I'm just trying to party. And I am sick and tired of my radio clicking. Sometimes I feel like I live in Grand Central Station. Tonight I'm not taking no calls 'cause I'll be dancing." Then the astrophysicist hung up on them.

John, Radek and Katie ran into the party room and stopped short. There were people everywhere in the large, loud, well-lit room. Sheppard spotted the buffet along one wall, and a dance floor, and a dais for the DJ. He felt a brief pang of jealousy. Why was the military never invited to these things? His focus was jerked back to the present when Katie snatched at his arm. "There he is!" She had to practically scream to be heard over the music.

John's eyes followed her pointing finger to the dance floor. A circle had cleared and a very familiar looking man was dancing his heart out in the center of the floor. Sheppard gave a low whistle. He'd had no clue that Rodney could dance. But there was no doubt that McKay had definite talent in that area. One of Rodney's whirls brought him around to face the door and he saw the three newcomers standing there staring. His eyes rolled up in annoyance and his mouth started moving. John was no lip reader and he certainly couldn't hear, but he had a good idea of what Rodney was saying.

"Stop calling, stop calling, I don't want to think anymore. I left my head and my heart on the dance floor. Stop calling, stop calling, I don't want to talk anymore. I left my head and my heart on the dance floor. Stop radioing me, stop radioing me. Can call all you want, but there's no one home. You're not gonna reach my radio 'cause I'm out in the club and I'm sipping that bubb. You're not gonna reach my radio!"

"Wow," Sheppard commented. He didn't think anyone heard him, but Doctor Biro appeared at his elbow and agreed.

"Don't let him fool you, Colonel," she said into his ear. "Doctor McKay's a demon when it comes to dancing. We've had to bar him from our _Dance Dance Revolution _tournaments because he can beat us all without even trying." Sheppard wouldn't have believed it if he wasn't seeing it. Biro nodded thoughtfully and added, "Novak is bringing us _Guitar Hero _the next time the _Daedalus _comes in. I'm betting he owns at that too."

The song ended and Rodney staggered off the floor. He tripped on the very edge and Sheppard leaped forward to catch him. His companions drifted into the crowd, leaving the two alone. John hauled Rodney up and half-dragged him out to the balcony.

Once there, McKay sagged against the balcony railing tiredly. He shot Sheppard a glare. "Didn't you hear me telling you to go away?" he snapped.

Sheppard leaned beside him, watching his friend's face. "Since when do I listen? You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah yeah. I didn't actually drink that much. Just...just needed some fresh air. Catch my breath," the scientist explained between deep breaths of the ocean air. John nodded and waited for Rodney to recover.

Finally McKay shoved off from the railing and stood in front of John like a man before a firing squad. "Okay, go on, get it over with." Sheppard gave him his patented 'do what?' face and Rodney sighed. "Go ahead and mock me now so we can move on with our lives."

"I'm not going to mock you, Rodney," John said with a small smile. Rodney rolled his eyes at him.

"Oh please, Colonel, you mock me about everything."

"No, I don't!" Sheppard defended. "Tease, maybe, but never mocking!"

"Tease me, then. Tease me about the dancing, the partying. Tease me about the only coping mechanism I've got since you've all forcibly kept me from burying myself in work!" McKay's voice ran higher and more heated as his words tumbled over each other.

Sheppard made soothing motions with his hands. "Relax, Rodney. I'm not going to tease you about it."

"You're not?" John shook his head. "Oh." Rodney came back to lean against the railing beside him. He was quiet for a while, so Sheppard took it upon himself to continue the conversation.

"You can't hide under your work, like you usually do, so you dance out your frustration. I get that, Rodney, I do." McKay gave him an 'oh, really?' look from under his eyelashes and John nodded emphatically. "What happened on Doranda, it's eating you alive. You've gotta release the tension some way, and physical activity's the best way. You dance, I run. Not much difference."

"Except dancing takes a whole lot more coordiation and skill," Rodney sniffed. His eyes went back to John's and he asked quietly, "So... no teasing?"

"No. Not this time. Actually, I think the fact that you're a dance demon is pretty cool." He smiled and for the first time Rodney smiled back. "Ready to go back in and cut up the rug some more?"

McKay hesitated, then nodded. "Okay, sure. Hey, maybe I could teach you a thing or two about dancing, it shouldn't be that hard, even for you-" Sheppard's hand on his shoulder stopped him. Rodney turned to find a serious look on the colonel's face, but it was hard to miss the mischief in his eyes.

"Watch it, McKay. I'll have you know that I was the _Dance Dance Revolution_ champion back at McMurdo."

Rodney paused, trying to judge whether that was a challenge or not. Then John's face split into a grin and Rodney couldn't help the giggle that burst out. It was a challenge alright. "You're on, Sheppard."

The two friends re-entered the party just as DJ Kavanagh started up a new song. John Sheppard hung back to the edge of the crowd and contented himself with watching Rodney. McKay danced like a dervish, desperate to lose himself in the movements and stop his ever active brain from contemplating his failures. Guess he really did leave his head and his heart on the dance floor after all.


End file.
